terb’s world: my favorite things

As I mentioned earlier, Twilight (both the saga and the movie) is currently my favorite guilty pleasure. I did 2 blog entries already of my favorite movie quotes, so I thought I’d go ahead and write 2 more entries on my favorite book quotes. Here are my favorites from chapters 13 to 23. You can check out part 1 here.

—-

Here’s part of the pivotal conversation between Edward and Bella at the meadow. I’m glad nearly the entire scene was showed in the movie.

But I couldn’t answer. As I had just that once before, I smelled his cool breath in my face. Sweet, delicious, the scent made my mouth water. It was unlike anything else. Instinctively, unthinkingly, I leaned closer, inhaling.

And he was gone, his hand ripped from mine. In the time it took my eyes to focus, he was twenty feet away, standing at the edge of the small meadow, in the deep shade of a huge fir tree. He stared at me, his eyes dark in the shadows, his expression unreadable.

I could feel the hurt and shock on my face. My empty hands stung.

“I’m… sorry… Edward,” I whispered. I knew he could hear.

“Give me a moment,” he called, just loud enough for my less sensitive ears. I sat very still.

After ten incredibly long seconds, he walked back, slowly for him. He stopped, still several feet away, and sank gracefully to the ground, crossing his legs. His eyes never left mine. He took two deep breaths, and then smiled in apology.

“I am so very sorry.” He hesitated. “Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?”

I nodded once, not quite able to smile at his joke. Adrenaline pulsed through my veins as the realization of danger slowly sank in. He could smell that from where he sat. His smile turned mocking.

“I’m the world’s best predator, aren’t I? Everything about me invites you in – my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that!” Unexpectedly, he was on his feet, bounding away, instantly out of sight, only to appear beneath the same tree as before, having circled the meadow in half a second.

“As if you could outrun me,” he laughed bitterly.

He reached up with one hand and, with a deafening crack, effortlessly ripped a two-foot-thick branch from the trunk of the spruce. He balanced it in that hand for a moment, and then threw it with blinding speed, shattering it against another huge tree, which shook and trembled at the blow.

And he was in front of me again, standing two feet away, still as a stone.

“As if you could fight me off,” he said gently.

I sat without moving, more frightened of him than I had ever been. I’d never seen him so completely freed of that carefully cultivated facade. He’d never been less human… or more beautiful. Face ashen, eyes wide, I sat like a bird locked in the eyes of a snake.

—-

Here’s another part of their meadow conversation, containing the heroin quote.

“You see, every person smells different, has a different essence. If you locked an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he’d gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alcoholic. Now let’s say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac – and filled the room with its warm aroma – how do you think he would fare then?”

We sat silently, looking into each other’s eyes – trying to read each other’s thoughts.

He broke the silence first.

“Maybe that’s not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead.”

“So what you’re saying is, I’m your brand of heroin?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

He smiled swiftly, seeming to appreciate my effort. “Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin.”

—-

Here’s another part of their meadow conversation, where Bella first found out how Edward travelled in the forest.

“I’ll show you how I travel in the forest.” He saw my expression. “Don’t worry, you’ll be very safe, and we’ll get to your truck much faster.” His mouth twitched up into that crooked smile so beautiful my heart nearly stopped.

“Will you turn into a bat?” I asked warily.

—-

Here’s a funny conversation when Edward admitted having visited Bella while she was sleeping.

“How often?” I asked casually.

“Hmmm?” He sounded as if I had pulled him from some other train of thought.

I still didn’t turn around. “How often did you come here?”

“I come here almost every night.”

I whirled, stunned. “Why?”

“You’re interesting when you sleep.” He spoke matter-of-factly. “You talk.”

“No!” I gasped, heat flooding my face all the way to my hairline. I gripped the kitchen counter for support. I knew I talked in my sleep, of course; my mother teased me about it. I hadn’t thought it was something I needed to worry about here, though.

His expression shifted instantly to chagrin. “Are you very angry with me?”

“That depends!” I felt and sounded like I’d had the breath knocked out of me.

He waited.

“On?” he urged.

“What you heard!” I wailed.

Instantly, silently, he was at my side, taking my hands carefully in his.

“Don’t be upset!” he pleaded. He dropped his face to the level of my eyes, holding my gaze. I was embarrassed. I tried to look away. “You miss your mother,” he whispered. “You worry about her. And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot, but it’s less often now. Once you said, ‘It’s too green.’” He laughed softly, hoping, I could see, not to offend me further.

“Anything else?” I demanded.

He knew what I was getting at. “You did say my name,” he admitted.

I sighed in defeat. “A lot?”

“How much do you mean by ‘a lot,’ exactly?”

“Oh no!” I hung my head.

He pulled me against his chest, softly, naturally.

“Don’t be self-conscious,” he whispered in my ear. “If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I’m not ashamed of it.”

—-

Here’s an interesting conversation during Edward’s first night at Bella’s room (with Bella knowing that he was there).

“You seem more… optimistic than usual,” I observed. “I haven’t seen you like this before.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be like this?” He smiled. “The glory of first love, and all that. It’s incredible, isn’t it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?”

“Very different,” I agreed. “More forceful than I’d imagined.”

“For example” – his words flowed swiftly now, I had to concentrate to catch it all – “the emotion of jealousy. I’ve read about it a hundred thousand times, seen actors portray it in a thousand different plays and movies. I believed I understood that one pretty clearly. But it shocked me…” He grimaced. “Do you remember the day that Mike asked you to the dance?”

I nodded, though I remembered that day for a different reason. “The day you started talking to me again.”

“I was surprised by the flare of resentment, almost fury, that I felt – I didn’t recognize what it was at first. I was even more aggravated than usual that I couldn’t know what you were thinking, why you refused him. Was it simply for your friend’s sake? Was there someone else? I knew I had no right to care either way. I tried not to care.

“And then the line started forming,” he chuckled. I scowled in the darkness.

“I waited, unreasonably anxious to hear what you would say to them, to watch your expressions. I couldn’t deny the relief I felt, watching the annoyance on your face. But I couldn’t be sure.

“That was the first night I came here. I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was right, moral, ethical, and what I wanted. I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I should, or if I left for a few years, till you were gone, that someday you would say yes to Mike, or someone like him. It made me angry.

“And then,” he whispered, “as you were sleeping, you said my name. You spoke so clearly, at first I thought you’d woken. But you rolled over restlessly and mumbled my name once more, and sighed. The feeling that coursed through me then was unnerving, staggering. And I knew I couldn’t ignore you any longer.” He was silent for a moment, probably listening to the suddenly uneven pounding of my heart.

“But jealousy… it’s a strange thing. So much more powerful than I would have thought. And irrational! Just now, when Charlie asked you about that vile Mike Newton…” He shook his head angrily.

“I should have known you’d be listening,” I groaned.

“Of course.”

“That made you feel jealous, though, really?”

“I’m new at this; you’re resurrecting the human in me, and everything feels stronger because it’s fresh.”

—-

Edward’s quote below is fraught with religious implications. However, I don’t really want to go into that, but this really reminded me of a line from William Blake’s poem “The Tiger” – “Did He who made the Lamb make thee?”

“Well, where did you come from? Evolution? Creation? Couldn’t we have evolved in the same way as other species, predator and prey? Or, if you don’t believe that all this world could have just happened on its own, which is hard for me to accept myself, is it so hard to believe that the same force that created the delicate angelfish with the shark, the baby seal and the killer whale, could create both our kinds together?”

—-

I really like this part, because Edward tried to explain his reasons for resisting temptation.

I sifted through my questions for the most vital. “Why do you do it?” I said. “I still don’t understand how you can work so hard to resist what you… are. Please don’t misunderstand, of course I’m glad that you do. I just don’t see why you would bother in the first place.”

He hesitated before answering. “That’s a good question, and you are not the first one to ask it. The others – the majority of our kind who are quite content with our lot – they, too, wonder at how we live. But you see, just because we’ve been… dealt a certain hand… it doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to rise above – to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can.”

—-

This is a very sweet scene during Edward’s first morning at Bella’s room, and she asked him about her sleep-talking.

I groaned. “What did you hear?”

His gold eyes grew very soft. “You said you loved me.”

“You knew that already,” I reminded him, ducking my head.

“It was nice to hear, just the same.”

I hid my face against his shoulder.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“You are my life now,” he answered simply.

—-

Here’s a funny part.

“Breakfast time,” he said eventually, casually – to prove, I’m sure, that he remembered all my human frailties.

So I clutched my throat with both hands and stared at him with wide eyes. Shock crossed his face.

“Kidding!” I snickered. “And you said I couldn’t act!”

He frowned in disgust. “That wasn’t funny.”

“It was very funny, and you know it.” But I examined his gold eyes carefully, to make sure that I was forgiven. Apparently, I was.

“Shall I rephrase?” he asked. “Breakfast time for the human.”

—-

I love how this part was included in the movie, even though it wasn’t verbatim.

“And you’re worried, not because you’re headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won’t approve of you, correct?”

“That’s right,” I answered immediately, hiding my surprise at his casual use of the word.

He shook his head. “You’re incredible.”

—-

I would have loved to see this in the movie, but at least the line “You really shouldn’t have said that” was included.”

I hate to burst your bubble, but you’re really not as scary as you think you are. I don’t find you scary at all, actually,” I lied casually.

He stopped, raising his eyebrows in blatant disbelief. Then he flashed a wide, wicked smile.

“You really shouldn’t have said that,” he chuckled.

He growled, a low sound in the back of his throat; his lips curled back over his perfect teeth. His body shifted suddenly, half-crouched, tensed like a lion about to pounce.

I backed away from him, glaring.

“You wouldn’t.”

I didn’t see him leap at me – it was much too fast. I only found myself suddenly airborne, and then we crashed onto the sofa, knocking it into the wall. All the while, his arms formed an iron cage of protection around me – I was barely jostled. But I still was gasping as I tried to right myself.

He wasn’t having that. He curled me into a ball against his chest, holding me more securely than iron chains. I glared at him in alarm, but he seemed well in control, his jaw relaxed as he grinned, his eyes bright only with humor.

“You were saying?” he growled playfully.

“That you are a very, very terrifying monster,” I said, my sarcasm marred a bit by my breathless voice.

“Much better,” he approved.

—-

I really like both Alice and Jasper, especially how they soothed Bella in this scene.

Jasper was suddenly beside Alice, closer to me than usual.

“Bella,” he said in a suspiciously soothing voice. “You have nothing to worry about. You are completely safe here.”

“I know that.”

“Then why are you frightened?” he asked, confused. He might feel the tenor of my emotions, but he couldn’t read the reasons behind them.

“You heard what Laurent said.” My voice was just a whisper, but I was sure they could hear me. “He said James was lethal. What if something goes wrong, and they get separated? If something happens to any of them, Carlisle, Emmett… Edward…” I gulped. “If that wild female hurts Esme…” My voice had grown higher, a note of hysteria beginning to rise in it. “How could I live with myself when it’s my fault? None of you should be risking yourselves for me -”

“Bella, Bella, stop,” he interrupted me, his words pouring out so quickly they were hard to understand. “You’re worrying about all the wrong things, Bella. Trust me on this – none of us are in jeopardy. You are under too much strain as it is; don’t add to it with wholly unnecessary worries. Listen to me!” he ordered, for I had looked away. “Our family is strong. Our only fear is losing you.”

“But why should you -”

Alice interrupted this time, touching my cheek with her cold fingers. “It’s been almost a century that Edward’s been alone. Now he’s found you. You can’t see the changes that we see, we who have been with him for so long. Do you think any of us want to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you?”

—-

Here’s an interesting conversation between Edward and Bella at the hospital.

“How did you do it?” I asked quietly. He knew what I meant at once.

“I’m not sure.” He looked away from my wondering eyes, lifting my gauze-wrapped hand from the bed and holding it gently in his, careful not to disrupt the wire connecting me to one of the monitors.

I waited patiently for the rest.

He sighed without returning my gaze. “It was impossible… to stop,” he whispered. “Impossible. But I did.” He looked up finally, with half a smile. “I must love you.”

“Don’t I taste as good as I smell?” I smiled in response. That hurt my face.

“Even better – better than I’d imagined.”

—-

Here’s another light-hearted banter between Edward and Bella, which I sort of missed in the movie. Sometimes Edward and Bella were too intense.

I tried to reach his face with my free hand, but something stopped me. I glanced down to see the IV pulling at my hand.

“Ugh.” I winced.

“What is it?” he asked anxiously – distracted, but not enough. The bleakness did not entirely leave his eyes.

“Needles,” I explained, looking away from the one in my hand. I concentrated on a warped ceiling tile and tried to breathe deeply despitet the ache in my ribs.

“Afraid of a needle,” he muttered to himself under his breath, shaking his head. “Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand…”

—-

This part seems to be a foreshadowing of some sorts to the events that would happen in New Moon.

“Why did you say that?” I whispered, trying to keep my voice from shaking. “Are you tired of having to save me all the time? Do you want me to go away?”

“No, I don’t want to be without you, Bella, of course not. Be rational. And I have no problem with saving you, either – if it weren’t for the fact that I was the one putting you in danger… that I’m the reason that you’re here.”

“Yes, you are the reason.” I frowned. “The reason I’m here – alive.”

“Barely.” His voice was just a whisper. “Covered in gauze and plaster and hardly able to move.”

“I wasn’t referring to my most recent near-death experience,” I said, growing irritated. “I was thinking of the others – you can take your pick. If it weren’t for you, I would be rotting away in the Forks cemetery.”

He winced at my words, but the haunted look didn’t leave his eyes.

“That’s not the worst part, though,” he continued to whisper. He acted as if I hadn’t spoken. “Not seeing you there on the floor… crumpled and broken.” His voice was choked. “Not thinking I was too late. Not even hearing you scream in pain – all those unbearable memories that I’ll carry with me for the rest of eternity. No, the very worst was feeling… knowing that I couldn’t stop. Believing that I was going to kill you myself.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I could have. So easily.”

—-

This part seems a bit like a forehsadowing of Alice’s future role as Bella’s best girlfriend and head vampire of all things related to cosmetics and fashion.

“I’m not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea Pig Barbie when I do,” I griped. I’d spent the better part of the day in Alice’s staggeringly vast bathroom, a helpless victim as she played hairdresser and cosmetician. Whenever I fidgeted or complained, she reminded me that she didn’t have any memories of being human, and asked me not to ruin her vicarious fun.

—-

I thought this was really funny… and sweet (for Bella that is, not for Tyler).

Something Charlie was saying made Edward’s eyes widen in disbelief, and then a grin spread across his face.

“You’re kidding!” He laughed.

“What is it?” I demanded.

He ignored me. “Why don’t you let me talk to him?” Edward suggested with evident pleasure. He waited for a few seconds.

“Hello, Tyler, this is Edward Cullen.” His voice was very friendly, on the surface. I knew it well enough to catch the soft edge of menace. What was Tyler doing at my house? The awful truth began to dawn on me. I looked again at the inappropriate dress Alice had forced me into.

“I’m sorry if there’s been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unavailable tonight.” Edward’s tone changed, and the threat in his voice was suddenly much more evident as he continued. “To be perfectly honest, she’ll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned. No offense. And I’m sorry about your evening.” He didn’t sound sorry at all. And then he snapped the phone shut, a huge smirk on his face.

—-

I don’t think the other Cullens were shown at the prom in the movie. I would have loved to see how their outfits as described here would look.

In Phoenix, they held proms in hotel ballrooms. This dance was in the gym, of course. It was probably the only room in town big enough for a dance. When we got inside, I giggled. There were actual balloon arches and twisted garlands of pastel crepe paper festooning the walls.

“This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen,” I snickered.

“Well,” he muttered as we slowly approached the ticket table – he was carrying most of my weight, but I still had to shuffle and wobble my feet forward – “there are more than enough vampires present.”

I looked at the dance floor; a wide gap had formed in the center of the floor, where two couples whirled gracefully. The other dancers pressed to the sides of the room to give them space – no one wanted to stand in contrast with such radiance. Emmett and Jasper were intimidating and flawless in classic tuxedos. Alice was striking in a black satin dress with geometric cutouts that bared large triangles of her snowy white skin. And Rosalie was… well, Rosalie. She was beyond belief. Her vivid scarlet dress was backless, tight to her calves where it flared into a wide ruffled train, with a neckline that plunged to her waist. I pitied every girl in the room, myself included.

“Do you want me to bolt the doors so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?” I whispered conspiratorially.

“And where do you fit into that scheme?” He glared.

“Oh, I’m with the vampires, of course.”

—-

I thought Jacob was pretty funny here. I’ll never be in Team Jacob, but sometimes I understand his appeal. Sometimes.

“Hey, I’m sorry you had to come do this, Jacob,” I apologized. “At any rate, you get your parts, right?”

“Yeah,” he muttered. He was still looking awkward… upset.

“There’s more?” I asked in disbelief.

“Forget it,” he mumbled, “I’ll get a job and save the money myself.”

I glared at him until he met my gaze. “Just spit it out, Jacob.”

“It’s so bad.”

“I don’t care. Tell me,” I insisted.

“Okay… but, geez, this sounds bad.” He shook his head. “He said to tell you, no, to warn you, that – and this is his plural, not mine” – he lifted one hand from my waist and made little quotations marks in the air – ‘”We’ll be watching.’” He watched warily for my reaction.

It sounded like something from a mafia movie. I laughed out loud.

—-

I’m including this again because the word “twilight” was mentioned.

“Twilight, again,” he murmured. “Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end.”

“Some things don’t have to end,” I muttered through my teeth, instantly tense.

He ignored me, staring up at the moon.

—-

Well, the word “twilight” was mentioned again, and part of this was included in the movie.

He sighed deeply. “I know. And you’re really that willing?”

The pain was back in his eyes. I bit my lip and nodded.

“So ready for this to be the end,” he murmured, almost to himself, “for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started. You’re ready to give up everything.”

“It’s not the end, it’s the beginning,” I disagreed under my breath.

“I’m not worth it,” he said sadly.

“Do you remember when you told me that I didn’t see myself very clearly?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. “You obviously have the same blindness.”

“I know what I am.”

I sighed.

But his mercurial mood shifted on me. He pursed his lips, and his eyes were probing. He examined my face for a long moment.

“You’re ready now, then?” he asked.

“Um.” I gulped. “Yes?”

He smiled, and inclined his head slowly until his cold lips brushed against the skin just under the corner of my jaw.

“Right now?” he whispered, his breath blowing cool on my neck. I shivered involuntarily.

“Yes,” I whispered, so my voice wouldn’t have a chance to break. If he thought I was bluffing, he was going to be disappointed. I’d already made
this decision, and I was sure. It didn’t matter that my body was rigid as a plank, my hands balled into fists, my breathing erratic…

He chuckled darkly, and leaned away. His face did look disappointed.

“You can’t really believe that I would give in so easily,” he said with a sour edge to his mocking tone.

“A girl can dream.”

His eyebrows rose. “Is that what you dream about? Being a monster?”

“Not exactly,” I said, frowning at his word choice. Monster, indeed. “Mostly I dream about being with you forever.”

His expression changed, softened and saddened by the subtle ache in my voice.

“Bella.” His fingers lightly traced the shape of my lips. “I will stay with you – isn’t that enough?”

I smiled under his fingertips. “Enough for now.”

As I mentioned earlier, Twilight (both the saga and the movie) is currently my favorite guilty pleasure. I did 2 blog entries already of my favorite movie quotes, so I thought I’d go ahead and write 2 more entries on my favorite book quotes. Here are my favorites from chapters 1 to 12. You can check out part 2 here.

—-

Here’s part of the conversation between Charlie and Bella during their drive to Forks from the airport. Charlie just told her about the truck Billy was selling.

“What year is it?” I could see from his change of expression that this was the question he was hoping I wouldn’t ask.

“Well, Billy’s done a lot of work on the engine – it’s only a few years old, really.”

I hoped he didn’t think so little of me as to believe I would give up that easily. “When did he buy it?”

“He bought it in 1984, I think.”

“Did he buy it new?”

“Well, no. I think it was new in the early sixties – or late fifties at the earliest,” he admitted sheepishly.

“Ch – Dad, I don’t really know anything about cars. I wouldn’t be able to fix it if anything went wrong, and I couldn’t afford a mechanic…”

“Really, Bella, the thing runs great. They don’t build them like that anymore.” The thing, I thought to myself… it had possibilities – as a nickname, at the very least.

—-

This is one of the first conversations between “chess-club” Eric and Bella.

“So, this is a lot different than Phoenix, huh?” he asked.

“Very.”

“It doesn’t rain much there, does it?”

“Three or four times a year.”

“Wow, what must that be like?” he wondered.

“Sunny,” I told him.

“You don’t look very tan.”

“My mother is part albino.”

—-

Here’s how Bella described Mike. It’s mean though.

Mike, who was taking on the qualities of a golden retriever, walked faithfully by my side to class.

—-

Here’s the discussion between Carlisle, Bella and Edward at the hospital after the accident.

“Can’t I go back to school?” I asked, imagining Charlie trying to be attentive.

“Maybe you should take it easy today.”

I glanced at Edward. “Does he get to go to school?”

“Someone has to spread the good news that we survived,” Edward said smugly.

—-

Here’s Bella and Edward’s argument at the hospital. I really liked how this scene played out in the movie. A lot of the lines used were direct quotes as well.

“Nobody will believe that, you know.” His voice held an edge of derision now.

“I’m not going to tell anybody.” I said each word slowly, carefully controlling my anger.

Surprise flitted across his face. “Then why does it matter?”

“It matters to me,” I insisted. “I don’t like to lie – so there’d better be a good reason why I’m doing it.”

“Can’t you just thank me and get over it?”

“Thank you.” I waited, fuming and expectant.

“You’re not going to let it go, are you?”

“No.”

“In that case… I hope you enjoy disappointment.”

—-

This is one of my favorite scenes, when Edward came up to Bella the day after watching her turn down Tyler.

“I was wondering if, a week from Saturday – you know, the day of the spring dance -”

“Are you trying to be funny?” I interrupted him, wheeling toward him. My face got drenched as I looked up at his expression.

His eyes were wickedly amused. “Will you please allow me to finish?”

I bit my lip and clasped my hands together, interlocking my fingers, so I couldn’t do anything rash.

“I heard you say you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride.”

That was unexpected.

“What?” I wasn’t sure what he was getting at.

“Do you want a ride to Seattle?”

“With who?” I asked, mystified.

“Myself, obviously.” He enunciated every syllable, as if he were talking to someone mentally handicapped.

I was still stunned. “Why?”

“Well, I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and, to be honest, I’m not sure if your truck can make it.”

“My truck works just fine, thank you very much for your concern.” I started to walk again, but I was too surprised to maintain the same level of anger.

“But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?” He matched my pace again.

“I don’t see how that is any of your business.” Stupid, shiny Volvo owner.

“The wasting of finite resources is everyone’s business.”

“Honestly, Edward.” I felt a thrill go through me as I said his name, and I hated it. “I can’t keep up with you. I thought you didn’t want to be my friend.”

“I said it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be.”

“Oh, thanks, now that’s all cleared up.” Heavy sarcasm. I realized I had stopped walking again. We were under the shelter of the cafeteria roof now, so I could more easily look at his face. Which certainly didn’t help my clarity of thought.

“It would be more… prudent for you not to be my friend,” he explained. “But I’m tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella.”

His eyes were gloriously intense as he uttered that last sentence, his voice smoldering. I couldn’t remember how to breathe.

“Will you go with me to Seattle?” he asked, still intense.

I couldn’t speak yet, so I just nodded.

He smiled briefly, and then his face became serious.

“You really should stay away from me,” he warned. “I’ll see you in class.”

—-

This is another of my favorite scenes, when Edward asked Bella to sit with him during lunch for the first time.

“Edward Cullen is staring at you again,” Jessica said, finally breaking through my abstraction with his name. “I wonder why he’s sitting alone today.”

My head snapped up. I followed her gaze to see Edward, smiling crookedly, staring at me from an empty table across the cafeteria from where he usually sat. Once he’d caught my eye, he raised one hand and motioned with his index finger for me to join him. As I stared in disbelief, he winked.

“Does he mean you?” Jessica asked with insulting astonishment in her voice.

“Maybe he needs help with his Biology homework,” I muttered for her benefit. “Um, I’d better go see what he wants.”

I could feel her staring after me as I walked away.

When I reached his table, I stood behind the chair across from him, unsure.

“Why don’t you sit with me today?” he asked, smiling.

I sat down automatically, watching him with caution. He was still smiling. It was hard to believe that someone so beautiful could be real. I was afraid that he might disappear in a sudden puff of smoke, and I would wake up.

He seemed to be waiting for me to say something. “This is different,” I finally managed.

“Well…” He paused, and then the rest of the words followed in a rush. “I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.”

—-

Here’s more from the conversation during their first lunch together.

He chuckled. “What are your theories?”

I blushed. I had been vacillating during the last month between Bruce Wayne and Peter Parker. There was no way I was going to own up to that.

“Won’t you tell me?” he asked, tilting his head to one side with a shockingly tempting smile.

I shook my head. “Too embarrassing.”

“That’s really frustrating, you know,” he complained.

“No,” I disagreed quickly, my eyes narrowing, “I can’t imagine why that would be frustrating at all – just because someone refuses to tell you what they’re thinking, even if all the while they’re making cryptic little remarks specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possibly mean… now, why would that be frustrating?”

He grimaced.

“Or better,” I continued, the pent-up annoyance flowing freely now, “say that person also did a wide range of bizarre things – from saving your life under impossible circumstances one day to treating you like a pariah the next, and he never explained any of that, either, even after he promised. That, also, would be very non-frustrating.”

—-

This is still from the same lunch scene, and I’m including this because of the superhero quote which was also used in the movie. However, in the book, Edward was smiling when he said the line. It’s weird, because I can’t seem to picture it that way. I guess I’m stuck with Robert Pattinson’s intense, broody delivery of “What if I’m… the bad guy?” Not that I’m complaining.

“Please tell me just one little theory.” His eyes still smoldered at me.

“Um, well, bitten by a radioactive spider?” Was he a hypnotist, too? Or was I just a hopeless pushover?

“That’s not very creative,” he scoffed.

“I’m sorry, that’s all I’ve got,” I said, miffed.

“You’re not even close,” he teased.

“No spiders?”

“Nope.”

“And no radioactivity?”

“None.”

“Dang,” I sighed.

“Kryptonite doesn’t bother me, either,” he chuckled.

“You’re not supposed to laugh, remember?”

He struggled to compose his face.

“I’ll figure it out eventually,” I warned him.

“I wish you wouldn’t try.” He was serious again.

“Because… ?”

“What if I’m not a superhero? What if I’m the bad guy?” He smiled playfully, but his eyes were impenetrable.

—-

This is still from the same scene. If I read Twilight during my school days, I would probably be quoting the ditching is healthy line everyday.

I jumped to my feet. “We’re going to be late.”

“I’m not going to class today,” he said, twirling the lid so fast it was just a blur.

“Why not?”

“It’s healthy to ditch class now and then.”

—-

This the scene where Bella nearly fainted during blood typing. I like Bella’s humor.

“Bella.” Edward’s voice was right beside me, relieved now. “Can you hear me?”

“No,” I groaned. “Go away.”

—-

What the movie lacked I think was a bit more of Edward and Bella’s casual bantering. But again, I’m not complaining.

“You were right,” I moaned, letting my eyes close.

“I usually am – but about what in particular this time?”

“Ditching is healthy.” I practiced breathing evenly.

“You scared me for a minute there,” he admitted after a pause. His tone made it sound like he was confessing a humiliating weakness. “I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods.”

“Ha ha.” I still had my eyes closed, but I was feeling more normal every minute.

“Honestly – I’ve seen corpses with better color. I was concerned that I might have to avenge your murder.”

—-

Here’s another funny scene with Edward and Bella snapping at each other.

We were near the parking lot now. I veered left, toward my truck. Something caught my jacket, yanking me back.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, outraged. He was gripping a fistful of my jacket in one hand.

I was confused. “I’m going home.”

“Didn’t you hear me promise to take you safely home? Do you think I’m going to let you drive in your condition?” His voice was still indignant.

“What condition? And what about my truck?” I complained.

“I’ll have Alice drop it off after school.” He was towing me toward his car now, pulling me by my jacket. It was all I could do to keep from falling backward. He’d probably just drag me along anyway if I did.

“Let go!” I insisted. He ignored me. I staggered along sideways across the wet sidewalk until we reached the Volvo. Then he finally freed me – I stumbled against the passenger door.

“You are so pushy!” I grumbled.

—-

Another of their funny scenes.

“How old are you, Bella?” His voice sounded frustrated for some reason I couldn’t imagine. He’d stopped the car, and I realized we were at Charlie’s house already. The rain was so heavy that I could barely see the house at all. It was like the car was submerged under a river.

“I’m seventeen,” I responded, a little confused.

“You don’t seem seventeen.”

His tone was reproachful; it made me laugh.

“What?” he asked, curious again.

“My mom always says I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged every year.”

—-

Another of their interesting scenes, which makes more sense once you read the draft of Midnight Sun (a retelling of Twilight from the perspective of Edward).

“Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think? No matter who your choice was?” He was suddenly intent, his eyes searching mine.

“I-I think so,” I stuttered. “But she’s the parent, after all. It’s a little bit different.”

“No one too scary then,” he teased.

I grinned in response. “What do you mean by scary? Multiple facial piercings and extensive tattoos?”

“That’s one definition, I suppose.”

“What’s your definition?”

But he ignored my question and asked me another. “Do you think that I could be scary?” He raised one eyebrow, and the faint trace of a smile lightened his face.

I thought for a moment, wondering whether the truth or a lie would go over better. I decided to go with the truth. “Hmmm… I think you could be, if you wanted to.”

—-

Here’s the scene where Jacob told Bella that the Cullens were vampires.

I tried to keep my voice casual. “So how does it fit in with the Cullens? Are they like the cold ones your greatgrandfather met?”

“No.” He paused dramatically. “They are the same ones.”

—-

This passage was the part where I was able to totally connect to Bella’s character.

That had always been my way, though. Making decisions was the painful part for me, the part I agonized over. But once the decision was made, I simply followed through – usually with relief that the choice was made. Sometimes the relief was tainted by despair, like my decision to come to Forks. But it was still better than wrestling with the alternatives.

—-

Here’s another of my favorite scenes, when Edward saved Bella in Port Angeles.

“Are you okay?” I asked, surprised at how hoarse my voice sounded.

“No,” he said curtly, and his tone was livid.

I sat in silence, watching his face while his blazing eyes stared straight ahead, until the car came to a sudden stop. I glanced around, but it was too dark to see anything beside the vague outline of dark trees crowding the roadside. We weren’t in town anymore.

“Bella?” he asked, his voice tight, controlled.

“Yes?” My voice was still rough. I tried to clear my throat quietly.

“Are you all right?” He still didn’t look at me, but the fury was plain on his face.

“Yes,” I croaked softly.

“Distract me, please,” he ordered.

“I’m sorry, what?”

He exhaled sharply. “Just prattle about something unimportant until I calm down,” he clarified, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

“Um.” I wracked my brain for something trivial. “I’m going to run over Tyler Crowley tomorrow before school?”

He was still squeezing his eyes closed, but the corner of his mouth twitched. “Why?”

“He’s telling everyone that he’s taking me to prom – either he’s insane or he’s still trying to make up for almost killing me last… well, you remember it, and he thinks prom is somehow the correct way to do this. So I figure if I endanger his life, then we’re even, and he can’t keep trying to make amends. I don’t need enemies and maybe Lauren would back off if he left me alone. I might have to total his Sentra, though. If he doesn’t have a ride he can’t take anyone to prom…” I babbled on.

“I heard about that.” He sounded a bit more composed.

“You did?” I asked in disbelief, my previous irritation flaring. “If he’s paralyzed from the neck down, he can’t go to the prom, either,” I muttered, refining my plan.

Edward sighed, and finally opened his eyes.

“Better?”

“Not really.”

I waited, but he didn’t speak again. He leaned his head back against the seat, staring at the ceiling of the car. His face was rigid.

“What’s wrong?” My voice came out in a whisper.

“Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Bella.” He was whispering, too, and as he stared out the window, his eyes narrowed into slits. “But it wouldn’t be helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those…” He didn’t finish his sentence, looking away, struggling for a moment to control his anger again. “At least,” he continued, “that’s what I’m trying to convince myself.”

—-

Here’s the ever famous dazzling quote. I don’t think they used the word “dazzle” in the movie though.

“You really shouldn’t do that to people,” I criticized. “It’s hardly fair.”

“Do what?”

“Dazzle them like that – she’s probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now.” He seemed confused.

“Oh, come on,” I said dubiously. “You have to know the effect you have on people.”

He tilted his head to one side, and his eyes were curious. “I dazzle people?”

“You haven’t noticed? Do you think everybody gets their way so easily?”

He ignored my questions. “Do I dazzle you?”

“Frequently,” I admitted.

—-

Again, some more banter.

“Okay, then.” I glared at him, and continued slowly. “Let’s say, hypothetically of course, that… someone… could know what people are thinking, read minds, you know – with a few exceptions.”

“Just one exception,” he corrected, “hypothetically.”

“All right, with one exception, then.” I was thrilled that he was playing along, but I tried to seem casual. “How does that work? What are the limitations? How would… that someone… find someone else at exactly the right time? How would he know she was in trouble?” I wondered if my convoluted questions even made sense.

“Hypothetically?” he asked.

“Sure.”

“Well, if… that someone…”

“Let’s call him ‘Joe,’” I suggested.

He smiled wryly. “Joe, then. If Joe had been paying attention, the timing wouldn’t have needed to be quite so exact.” He shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Only you could get into trouble in a town this small. You would have devastated their crime rate statistics for a decade, you know.”

“We were speaking of a hypothetical case,” I reminded him frostily.

He laughed at me, his eyes warm.

“Yes, we were,” he agreed. “Shall we call you ‘Jane’?”

—-

The way this scene was written in the movie was close enough, and captured the humor of the situation.

“Why do you think you can’t hear me?” I asked curiously.

He looked at me, his eyes enigmatic. “I don’t know,” he murmured. “The only guess I have is that maybe your mind doesn’t work the same way the rest of theirs do. Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and I’m only getting FM.” He grinned at me, suddenly amused.

“My mind doesn’t work right? I’m a freak?” The words bothered me more than they should – probably because his speculation hit home. I’d always suspected as much, and it embarrassed me to have it confirmed.

“I hear voices in my mind and you’re worried that you’re the freak,” he laughed.

—-

Here is the first time Edward and Bella talked about Jacob.

“Tricked him how?” he asked.

“I tried to flirt – it worked better than I thought it would.” Disbelief colored my tone as I remembered.

“I’d like to have seen that.” He chuckled darkly. “And you accused me of dazzling people – poor Jacob Black.”

—-

Here’s the scene when Bella admitted that she knew Edward was a vampire.

“No. Nothing fit. Most of it was kind of silly. And then…” I stopped.

“What?”

“I decided it didn’t matter,” I whispered.

“It didn’t matter?” His tone made me look up – I had finally broken through his carefully composed mask. His face was incredulous, with just a hint of the anger I’d feared.

“No,” I said softly. “It doesn’t matter to me what you are.”

A hard, mocking edge entered his voice. “You don’t care if I’m a monster? If I’m not human!”

“No.”

—-

The first part was used repeatedly in the trailers. Again, the scene was a bit lighter in the book, but I can’t read it now without thinking of how intense Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were. Once more, not that I’m complaining.

“How old are you?”

“Seventeen,” he answered promptly.

“And how long have you been seventeen?”

His lips twitched as he stared at the road. “A while,” he admitted at last.

“Okay.” I smiled, pleased that he was still being honest with me. He stared down at me with watchful eyes, much as he had before, when he was worried I would go into shock. I smiled wider in encouragement, and he frowned.

“Don’t laugh – but how can you come out during the daytime?”

He laughed anyway. “Myth.”

“Burned by the sun?”

“Myth.”

“Sleeping in coffins?”

“Myth.” He hesitated for a moment, and a peculiar tone entered his voice. “I can’t sleep.”

It took me a minute to absorb that. “At all?”

“Never,” he said, his voice nearly inaudible. He turned to look at me with a wistful expression. The golden eyes held mine, and I lost my train of thought. I stared at him until he looked away.

—-

I think I must have missed the importance of this part when I first read Twilight. I have to agree with Robert Pattinson’s observation that while reading the book, you seem to have the sense of security that Edward is in control, that he wasn’t really struggling that much. But reading Midnight Sun, you realize that he was, and that’s how Robert Pattinson portrayed it. He decided to make the character a bit more edgy, more dangerous, more conflicted.

“Tell me why you hunt animals instead of people,” I suggested, my voice still tinged with desperation. I realized my eyes were wet, and I fought against the grief that was trying to overpower me.

“I don’t want to be a monster.” His voice was very low.

“But animals aren’t enough?”

He paused. “I can’t be sure, of course, but I’d compare it to living on tofu and soy milk; we call ourselves vegetarians, our little inside joke. It doesn’t completely satiate the hunger – or rather thirst. But it keeps us strong enough to resist. Most of the time.”

—-

In this scene, Edward seems to finally realize that Bella was beginning to have feelings for him too.

“You might have called me,” I decided.

He was puzzled. “But I knew you were safe.”

“But I didn’t know where you were. I -” I hesitated, dropping my eyes.

“What?” His velvety voice was compelling.

“I didn’t like it. Not seeing you. It makes me anxious, too.” I blushed to be saying this out loud.

He was quiet. I glanced up, apprehensive, and saw that his expression was pained.

“Ah,” he groaned quietly. “This is wrong.”

I couldn’t understand his response. “What did I say?”

“Don’t you see, Bella? It’s one thing for me to make myself miserable, but a wholly other thing for you to be so involved.” He turned his anguished eyes to the road, his words flowing almost too fast for me to understand. “I don’t want to hear that you feel that way.” His voice was low but urgent. His words cut me. “It’s wrong. It’s not safe. I’m dangerous, Bella – please, grasp that.”

“No.” I tried very hard not to look like a sulky child.

—-

Okay, of course I cannot NOT include this part.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him – and I didn’t know how potent that part might be – that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

—-

Here’s from the first time they went to school together. I liked it better in the movie, with “Spotlight” playing on the background and Edward in shades and all.

He turned to smirk at me. “What, no twenty questions today?”

“Do my questions bother you?” I asked, relieved.

“Not as much as your reactions do.” He looked like he was joking, but I couldn’t be sure.

I frowned. “Do I react badly?”

“No, that’s the problem. You take everything so coolly – it’s unnatural. It makes me wonder what you’re really thinking.”

“I always tell you what I’m really thinking.”

“You edit,” he accused.

“Not very much.”

“Enough to drive me insane.”

—-

I loved this part too. Thanks to Jessica’s inquisitiveness, Edward would hear how Bella felt about him.

“I guess I’ll see you in Trig.” She gave me a meaningful look, and I suppressed a sigh. What on earth was I going to tell her?

“Yeah, I’ll see you then.”

She walked away, pausing twice to peek back over her shoulder at us.

“What are you going to tell her?” Edward murmured.

“Hey, I thought you couldn’t read my mind!” I hissed.

“I can’t,” he said, startled. Then understanding brightened his eyes. “However, I can read hers – she’ll be waiting to ambush you in class.”

I groaned as I pulled off his jacket and handed it to him, replacing it with my own. He folded it over his arm.

“So what are you going to tell her?”

“A little help?” I pleaded. “What does she want to know?”

He shook his head, grinning wickedly. “That’s not fair.”

“No, you not sharing what you know – now that’s not fair.”

He deliberated for a moment as we walked. We stopped outside the door to my first class.
“She wants to know if we’re secretly dating. And she wants to know how you feel about me,” he finally said.

“Yikes. What should I say?” I tried to keep my expression very innocent. People were passing us on their way to class, probably staring, but I was barely aware of them.

“Hmmm.” He paused to catch a stray lock of hair that was escaping the twist on my neck and wound it back into place. My heart spluttered hyperactively. “I suppose you could say yes to the first… if you don’t mind – it’s easier than any other explanation.”

“I don’t mind,” I said in a faint voice.

“And as for her other question… well, I’ll be listening to hear the answer to that one myself.”

—-

Here’s what Bella said.

“So you like him, then?” She wasn’t about to give up.

“Yes,” I said curtly.

“I mean, do you really like him?” she urged.

“Yes,” I said again, blushing. I hoped that detail wouldn’t register in her thoughts.

She’d had enough with the single syllable answers. “How much do you like him?”

“Too much,” I whispered back. “More than he likes me. But I don’t see how I can help that.”

—-

And here’s how Edward felt about it.

“Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?” he murmured, leaning closer to me as he spoke, his dark golden eyes piercing.

I tried to remember how to exhale. I had to look away before it came back to me. “You’re doing it again,” I muttered.

His eyes opened wide with surprise. “What?”

“Dazzling me,” I admitted, trying to concentrate as I looked back at him.

“Oh.” He frowned.

“It’s not your fault,” I sighed. “You can’t help it.”

“Are you going to answer the question?”

I looked down. “Yes.”

“Yes, you are going to answer, or yes, you really think that?” He was irritated again.

“Yes, I really think that.” I kept my eyes down on the table, my eyes tracing the pattern of the faux wood grains printed on the laminate. The silence dragged on. I stubbornly refused to be the first to break it this time, fighting hard against the temptation to peek at his expression.

Finally he spoke, his voice velvet soft. “You’re wrong.”

—-

Here’s an ironic barb from Edward.

“Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving.”

—-

Here’s another sample of their light-hearted bantering.

“Why did you go to that Goat Rocks place last weekend… to hunt? Charlie said it wasn’t a good place to hike, because of bears.”

He stared at me as if I was missing something very obvious.

“Bears?” I gasped, and he smirked. “You know, bears are not in season,” I added sternly, to hide my shock.

“If you read carefully, the laws only cover hunting with weapons,” he informed me. He watched my face with enjoyment as that slowly sank in.

“Bears?” I repeated with difficulty.

“Grizzly is Emmett’s favorite.” His voice was still offhand, but his eyes were scrutinizing my reaction. I tried to pull myself together.

“Hmmm,” I said, taking another bite of pizza as an excuse to look down. I chewed slowly, and then took a long drink of Coke without looking up.

“So,” I said after a moment, finally meeting his now-anxious gaze. “What’s your favorite?”

He raised an eyebrow and the corners of his mouth turned down in disapproval. “Mountain lion.”

“Ah,” I said in a politely disinterested tone, looking for my soda again.

“Of course,” he said, and his tone mirrored mine, “we have to be careful not to impact the environment with injudicious hunting. We try to focus on areas with an overpopulation of predators – ranging as far away as we need. There’s always plenty of deer and elk here, and they’ll do, but where’s the fun in that?” He smiled teasingly.

“Where indeed,” I murmured around another bite of pizza.

“Early spring is Emmett’s favorite bear season – they’re just coming out of hibernation, so they’re more irritable.” He smiled at some remembered joke.

“Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear,” I agreed, nodding.

—-

I’m including this quote because, well, the word “twilight” was mentioned and discussed.

“It’s twilight,” Edward murmured, looking at the western horizon, obscured as it was with clouds. His voice was thoughtful, as if his mind were somewhere far away. I stared at him as he gazed unseeingly out the windshield.

I was still staring when his eyes suddenly shifted back to mine.

“It’s the safest time of day for us,” he said, answering the unspoken question in my eyes. “The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way… the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don’t you think?” He smiled wistfully.
“I like the night. Without the dark, we’d never see the stars.” I frowned. “Not that you see them here much.”

—-

Here’s the second time Jacob and Bella talked about Edward.

“Nice ride.” Jacob’s voice was admiring. “I didn’t recognize the driver, though. I thought I knew most of the kids around here.”

I nodded noncommittally, keeping my eyes down as I flipped sandwiches.

“My dad seemed to know him from somewhere.”

“Jacob, could you hand me some plates? They’re in the cupboard over the sink.”

“Sure.”

He got the plates in silence. I hoped he would let it drop now.

“So who was it?” he asked, setting two plates on the counter next to me.

I sighed in defeat. “Edward Cullen.”

To my surprise, he laughed. I glanced up at him. He looked a little embarrassed. “Guess that explains it, then,” he said. “I wondered why my dad was acting so strange.”

—-

Here’s part of a conversation between Charlie and Bella.

“I didn’t get a chance to talk to you tonight. How was your day?”

“Good.” I hesitated with one foot on the first stair, searching for details I could safely share. “My badminton team won all four games.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you could play badminton.”

“Well, actually I can’t, but my partner is really good,” I admitted.

—-

Here’s part of the same conversation between Charlie and Bella, and the essence of this line was included in the movie when Bella told Charlie that “I don’t mind being alone. I mean, I guess I’m kinda like my dad in that way.”

“I’ve never minded being alone – I’m too much like you.” I winked at him, and he smiled his crinkly-eyed smile.

—-

Why is Edward perceived as the perfect man? Because he asks a lot of questions and listens to Bella’s answers.

He wanted to know about people today: more about Renée, her hobbies, what we’d done in our free time together. And then the one grandmother I’d known, my few school friends – embarrassing me when he asked about boys I’d dated. I was relieved that I’d never really dated anyone, so that particular conversation couldn’t last long. He seemed as surprised as Jessica and Angela by my lack of romantic history.

“So you never met anyone you wanted?” he asked in a serious tone that made me wonder what he was thinking about.

I was grudgingly honest. “Not in Phoenix.”